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That's Not What I Meant!

2013-04-23 Social Science
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Release : 2013-04-23
Genre : Social Science
Kind : eBook
Book Rating : 114/5 ( reviews)

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Book Synopsis That's Not What I Meant! by : Deborah Tannen

Download or read book That's Not What I Meant! written by Deborah Tannen. This book was released on 2013-04-23. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: At home, on the job, in a personal relationship, it's often not what you say but how you say it that counts. Deborah Tannen revolutionized our thinking about relationships between women and men in her #1 bestseller You Just Don't Understand. In That's Not What I Meant!, the internationally renowned sociolinguist and expert on communication demonstrates how our conversational signals—voice level, pitch and intonation, rhythm and timing, even the simple turns of phrase we choose—are powerful factors in the success or failure of any relationship. Regional speech characteristics, ethnic and class backgrounds, age, and individual personality all contribute to diverse conversational styles that can lead to frustration and misplaced blame if ignored—but provide tools to improve relationships if they are understood. At once eye-opening, astute, and vastly entertaining, Tannen's classic work on interpersonal communication will help you to hear what isn't said and to recognize how your personal conversational style meshes or clashes with others. It will give you a new understanding of communication that will enable you to make the adjustments that can save a conversation . . . or a relationship.

Summary of "That’s Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships" by Deborah Tannen

2018-01-29 Literary Collections
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Release : 2018-01-29
Genre : Literary Collections
Kind : eBook
Book Rating : 549/5 ( reviews)

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Book Synopsis Summary of "That’s Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships" by Deborah Tannen by : Delia Ostach

Download or read book Summary of "That’s Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships" by Deborah Tannen written by Delia Ostach. This book was released on 2018-01-29. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Abstract from the year 2015 in the subject English Language and Literature Studies - Linguistics, University of Paderborn (Institut für Anglistik und Amerikanistik), course: Contemporary Language Course Intermediate, language: English, abstract: This is a summary of Deborah Tannen's "That’s Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships", which was published in 1986. It deals with the language in conversations which can cause misunderstandings due to differing interpretations. Tannen divides her work into ten short chapters which fall under the ambit of four more general topics: Linguistic and Conversational Style, Conversational Strategies, Talking at Home: Conversational Style in Close Relationships and What You Can and Can’t Do with Conversational Style.

Conversational Style

2005-07-21 Language Arts & Disciplines
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Release : 2005-07-21
Genre : Language Arts & Disciplines
Kind : eBook
Book Rating : 381/5 ( reviews)

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Book Synopsis Conversational Style by : Deborah Tannen

Download or read book Conversational Style written by Deborah Tannen. This book was released on 2005-07-21. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This revised edition of Deborah Tannen's first discourse analysis book, Conversational Style--first published in 1984--presents an approach to analyzing conversation that later became the hallmark and foundation of her extensive body of work in discourse analysis, including the monograph Talking Voices, as well as her well-known popular books You Just Don't Understand, That's Not What I Meant!, and Talking from 9 to 5, among others. Carefully examining the discourse of six speakers over the course of a two-and-a-half hour Thanksgiving dinner conversation, Tannen analyzes the features that make up the speakers' conversational styles, and in particular how aspects of what she calls a 'high-involvement style' have a positive effect when used with others who share the style, but a negative effect with those whose styles differ. This revised edition includes a new preface and an afterword in which Tannen discusses the book's place in the evolution of her work. Conversational Style is written in an accessible and non-technical style that should appeal to scholars and students of discourse analysis (in fields like linguistics, anthropology, communication, sociology, and psychology) as well as general readers fascinated by Tannen's popular work. This book is an ideal text for use in introductory classes in linguistics and discourse analysis.

I Only Say This Because I Love You

2002-05-28 Family & Relationships
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Release : 2002-05-28
Genre : Family & Relationships
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Book Rating : 520/5 ( reviews)

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Book Synopsis I Only Say This Because I Love You by : Deborah Tannen

Download or read book I Only Say This Because I Love You written by Deborah Tannen. This book was released on 2002-05-28. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? In this illuminating book, Deborah Tannen, the linguist and and bestselling author of You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages —unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom. This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.

You're Wearing That?

2006-12-26 Family & Relationships
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Release : 2006-12-26
Genre : Family & Relationships
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Book Rating : 66X/5 ( reviews)

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Book Synopsis You're Wearing That? by : Deborah Tannen

Download or read book You're Wearing That? written by Deborah Tannen. This book was released on 2006-12-26. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don’t Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women’s lives: the mother-daughter relationship. It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language–but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other’s power and underestimates her own. Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three–hair, clothes, and weight–while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves? Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship. With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen’s humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You’re Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives. “Tannen analyzes and decodes scores of conversations between moms and daughters. These exchanges are so real they can make you squirm as you relive the last fraught conversation you had with your own mother or daughter. But Tannen doesn't just point out the pitfalls of the mother-daughter relationship, she also provides guidance for changing the conversations (or the way that we feel about the conversations) before they degenerate into what Tannen calls a mutually aggravating spiral, a "self-perpetuating cycle of escalating responses that become provocations." – The San Francisco Chronicle

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