How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack

2014-06-05 Humor

Author : Chuck Sambuchino
Release : 2014-06-05
Genre : Humor
Kind : eBook
Book Rating : 962/5 ( reviews)

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Book Synopsis How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack by : Chuck Sambuchino

Download or read book How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack written by Chuck Sambuchino. This book was released on 2014-06-05. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There’s a new threat in town – and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless garden decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defence expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system – Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply – for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognising and interpreting the signs of a gathering horde and – in the event that a secured perimeter is breached – confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack

2010-09-07 Humor

Author : Chuck Sambuchino
Release : 2010-09-07
Genre : Humor
Kind : eBook
Book Rating : 63X/5 ( reviews)

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Book Synopsis How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack by : Chuck Sambuchino

Download or read book How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack written by Chuck Sambuchino. This book was released on 2010-09-07. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

Garden Gnomes

2009-09-22 Gardening

Author : Twigs Way
Release : 2009-09-22
Genre : Gardening
Kind : eBook
Book Rating : 100/5 ( reviews)

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Book Synopsis Garden Gnomes by : Twigs Way

Download or read book Garden Gnomes written by Twigs Way. This book was released on 2009-09-22. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is the intriguing story of garden gnomes and how they have come to reside in the flowerbeds of gardens across Britain. Originating in Europe, gnomes made the leap across the channel in the nineteenth century, where they were welcomed warmly by wealthy Brits who saw them as the must-have garden accessory. But the fortunes of the humble gnome were not to last, and they soon found themselves sneered at by serious gardeners. Turned away from fashionable gardens, the little gnomes found a friend in many a working class gardener, who adopted them in increasing numbers, and in a variety of humorous poses. Today, gnomes are as popular with the masses as ever, and this entertaining illustrated history will appeal to those who love, and hate, these small bearded characters.

Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop

2012-10-01 Humor

Author : Reginald Bakeley
Release : 2012-10-01
Genre : Humor
Kind : eBook
Book Rating : 045/5 ( reviews)

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Book Synopsis Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop by : Reginald Bakeley

Download or read book Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop written by Reginald Bakeley. This book was released on 2012-10-01. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Help is on the way! In the tradition of Lemony Snicket and Roald Dahl, Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop shows how to banish those pesky dark Fairy creatures who are ready to thwart every last pleasure, be it gardening, country hikes, or even getting a good night’s sleep. In this charming guide, "fairy hunter" Reginald Bakeley offers practical instructions to clear your home and garden of these unsettling inhabitants, and banish them from your chicken coop and kitchen cupboard forever! In Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop readers will discover: Why a bustle in one’s hedgerow may be cause for alarm Why a garden fumigator may come in handy on evenings at the pub Why a toy merchant, a butcher, and a Freemason are among your best allies in the fight against the fey Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop is the only complete manual on how to identify, track, defend, and destroy those bothersome brownies, goblins, dwarves, scheming flowerfairies, and other nasty members of the fairy realm.

How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win

2015-10-01 Humor

Author : Bathroom Readers' Institute
Release : 2015-10-01
Genre : Humor
Kind : eBook
Book Rating : 225/5 ( reviews)

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Book Synopsis How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win by : Bathroom Readers' Institute

Download or read book How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win written by Bathroom Readers' Institute. This book was released on 2015-10-01. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A humorous guide to surviving in the wilderness, that also might make you want to avoid the wilderness forever. For more than twenty-five years, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has helped you learn amazing things you didn’t know. Now, Uncle John will show you how to do things you didn’t know how to do . . . and probably should never, never, never actually do, unless you’re in a survival situation and really, really, really need to do. It’s How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win. A new approach to survival guides and how-to books, this book provides step-by-step instructions for how to make do in any rugged terrain. But if you’re expecting “how to start a fire,” think again. This isn’t the kind of book that will tell you how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together—it will tell you how to make a fire using a car battery. It will also tell you: · How to swing from a vine like Tarzan · How to land an airplane in an emergency · How to fight a bear . . . and win · How to perform emergency surgery in the woods · How to identify what insects you can—and cannot—eat And lots, lots more

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